The majority of parents think that raising their kids in the same manner as themselves is the best method of raising kids. After all, the vast majority of parents have “done well” in life, and their kids should too if they follow the same parenting philosophy. The phrase “doing well” is used because it is important to us in India. As times have changed and are changing at an unprecedented rate, the old school needs to be modified. What is considered normal and acceptable has changed in the last five years, not in the last twenty or ten. Parents must adopt, adapt, and be receptive to change, which presents a significant obstacle. Parents who practise new-age parenting must adopt new parenting philosophies.
The way to communicate with children needs to be re-evaluated, even while the fundamentals of establishing vital characteristics like humility, honesty, compassion, forgiveness, and thankfulness, among others, remain intact. How can one talk to kids who don’t want to hear, let alone listen? You can achieve this by engaging in meaningful two-way communication with the child, who should decide the conversation’s topic, duration, frequency, flow, and end time. There must be no sermonising, analogies, or using “my experience” in the dialogue. It’s important to keep in mind what Charles Wadsworth said. “Usually, by the time a man learns that perhaps his father was correct, he has a son who disagrees with him.” Even when an older child can be involved in the dialogue, it’s crucial to remember that young children are very perceptive. Their eyes carefully scrutinise, their ears pay close attention, and their minds carefully consider what their surroundings have to offer. These early events might leave a lasting imprint.
Even if traditional parenting practises demand that kids show respect, go along with their parents’ wishes without objecting, and refrain from disagreement or debate, these standards are impractical in today’s world. Children have easy access to a wide range of information, and they will only accept material that matches their understanding of the topic, not just because it is expected. Parents will be respected by their children, but it must be earned. It cannot be taken for granted anymore. A strong bond needs to be formed with children at a young age, and then as the child gets older, the relationship needs to evolve into a deep friendship. A child will always need someone they can turn to, someone who will love her or him unconditionally and won’t be judgmental.
Several suggestions for doing and not doing:
1. Admitting Faults and Making Mistakes – No parent is perfect; therefore, parents shouldn’t expect their kids to be either. Every mistake teaches a lesson, which parents and kids must share. A parent-child connection can be ruined when parents pass judgement on their children.
2. Dream Big – Parents must inspire their kids to dream big. Parents should do everything in their power to help their children realise their dreams. A child shouldn’t be discouraged just because he or she wants to pursue something different. Parents shouldn’t crush their kids’ dreams. Parents shouldn’t expect their kids to realise their aspirations.
3. Managing Pressure – Children are constantly under pressure to perform. The pressure shouldn’t be increased by parents. Parents should practise better pressure management and set an example for their children. Since pressure will always be present, we need to teach our kids how to thrive under it.
4. Forgive and forget: Children will find it very difficult to even attempt forgiveness until they see their parents forget and forgive on a regular basis.
5. Be the Change – Parents cannot expect their children to change if they do not want to change. Children will desire to change if they witness their parents changing.